5 Things| To Avoid This Valentines Day

I’m not a Valentines Day kinda girl. I have never have been and no, I’m not single. (By the way it is possible to dislike Valentines day, be single and not be bitter. That was me for many years.)

What gets to me is the Valentine’s hype. The presumption of a gift. There are exceptions to this rule, but it usually goes like this….

Girl meets guy, some superficial sparks may fly. They will probably eat,hold hands then drink too much. Consequentially they will do a little clumsy something something afterwards. I’d rather dominoes and a film on my own as I’m guaranteed dominoes will pick up my call the next day.

St Valentine had a great mind in secretly marrying people who wanted to express their love in matrimony. But his name got a little abused and marketed over the years. Don’t get me wrong, there are some genuine couple’s out there celebrating their affections. But for every legendary love story, cupid’s valentine arrow mismatches 10!

So here’s 5 Things or states of mind to avoid this Valentine’s day.

1. ‘This is my day to show her/him that I truly love him’. Honey/dude, if that’s the only day you go out of your way, you have a serious problem! Everyday should be Valentines day. Or should I say everyday should be a celebration day.

2. ‘I must buy something extravagant.‘ One of the most meaningful items I have ever received was a book by my all time favourite author. It wasn’t even available in the UK yet. On the way to work last week I spilled my lunch on it and spent half an hour getting wierd looks as I rescued it under the hand dryer. I can buy myself a lot of things but some gifts take such an effort that they become priceless! If your going all out this Valentines day, make sure it’s an all year love state of mind. And when it comes to TRUE love, it really is the thought that counts.

3. ‘I must have a date’. Okay then. Would you date this person at any other time of the year? Nope, didn’t think so! Grab a film, grab your girls and pass the chocolate. Don’t let any time of year force you into feeling like singleness is a gift in and of itself.

4. ‘I have a love interest, therefore I must do something’. Actually, you don’t HAVE to do anything. But do yourself a favour and clear this with her first. If she’s likes the romance of the day, I promise I’m saving you………Titanic style. Cue the music.

5. ‘ I must be a gentleman tonight’. Be a gentleman always. Have a shower, use some face cream and spray some deodorant……on a regular basis. If you do I promise you’ll get more romantic opportunities THROUGHOUT the year. And If you behave like a gentleman past midnight, expect nothing and kiss her on the cheek. She is more likely to stick around.

Now before you brand me a cynic, there are elements I like too! My favourite bit about Valentine’s day? The prettiness, the flowers but best of all? The day after half price aisles, red and pink themed everything! The ghetto chick in me comes out….

(iamge via here)

xo Chi xo

Guess who?

So, I’m shame faced. It’s a new year, show me some grace please! Sorry to have been away for so long. Nevertheless, I’m back baby.I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas and are having a fabulous New Year. Am I the only one that feels like Christmas is different when you are older? Being a recipient is very different from being a giver hahaha! London is currently lying in wait for the snow to finally show itself. Then we’ll act surprised and go crazy with delays as if we haven’t had it before. dear!

It’s about this time that most people start failing at their new year’s resolutions. We are 22 days in. Salads don’t look so appetising, it’s kind of cold to run outside and being productive after a days work sounds like punishment. Making my resolution list has taken a while because I have had to be real with myself! My last attempt, though greatly accomplished, was void of discipline. Bad…..bad….Chioma. So here is my ode to 2014. Hopefully, putting this on the world wide web will provide some accountability.

1. Pursue God and great relationships with people. Pursuing implies a consistent effort.  2014 is the year to spend more time getting to REALLY know God. Less 5 minute recitations while putting tights on and running out of my house in the morning. Pursuing great relationships means finding opportunities to be a better friend. Keeping in touch, replying messages and cheering up my friends when life is well……life.

2. Finding and discovering the beauty. A rainy day reveals rainbows and an accidental trip down the wrong road leads to a new adventure. I want to discover some of the great landscapes and eats around me.

3. Developing and exercising my creativity. Writing, blogging, painting, baking, dreaming. I want it all! Last year, I become so much more comfortable in my own skin. Now I’m happy with my raw materials, more experimentation is going to occur. This year will see a new wardrobe and a couple of new lipsticks please.

4. Seeking knowledge. I’ve finished one book and am halfway through two at the moment. (don’t ask). I will do a separate post on them. This year, I want to make use of that thing we call a brain. Put some stuff in it and watch it churn something good out. It’s about time for most of us…

5. Worry less. Thinking too much about the bad leads to negative moods which results in an unproductive life. I’m not about that living any more. Yesterday, I was pretty upset about some stuff, had my little cry and shook it off! I’m slowly getting better at it. As we journey through the year, training my mind is going to become a priority.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

Comment below, I’d love to know!

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie on Black Hair

I’m in bed(yay) on my day off work(more yay). I’ll be honest I’m not intending to leave my room for a good couple of hours. I got my snacks, food and portable heater. I’m living the life!

A while ago I heard a future bride discussing whether or not it is possible  to have a natural hairstyle on her wedding day. In my head I was infuriated. How could she debate whether or not it was possible? If you choose to go for hair extensions, it’s your choice but it is definitely a possibility. In the light of day, I remembered that it wasn’t this ladies fault.

One of my favourite authors, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, is about to release a book I am super happy about. The novel ‘Americanah’ has taken the hair debate out of the black arena and made it a global political issue.On Channel 4, The New Yorker and the Ted Conference. Gosh, I love this woman.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Photographed by Akintunde Akinleye

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Photographed by Akintunde Akinleye

I have heard younger girls being taught that in order to have success in a high powered careers afro hair is ill-advised? Is this is the legacy we are leaving? There is an impression that a natural texture is ‘less than’, ‘too eccentric’, ‘not professional’ etc etc. Sorry but what??!! What happened to breaking through stereotypes and being the change, not the problem. More importantly as a Christian I can’t help but wonder, where is God’s role in all of this? If you believe in God, surely He is the operating ingredient in our success. Hopefully people see the Creators work in our job interviews, not just our Brazilian………extensions.

We speak of being modern women, but contradict ourselves by agreeing and conforming with those who judge us by our hair. If God knows the future and destined us to attain to higher heights, surely He created in us all that we need. Choose your hair style, ANY hairstyle, because you like it. Not to cover up a beautiful natural work.

As far as I’m concerned, this debate is not over.

Hype about Americanah:

The Telegraph

Bella Naija

The Guardian

PS: Chimamanda if your reading, coffee sometime? I’ll even pay!

Happy 1st Blogaversary & #addalittlebeauty

Hello wonderful ones. The 18th of March marked my first year writing this blog. Wowsers! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by, like seriously….where’d it go?

I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you lovely people who take time out of your schedule to read my rants and raves. To be honest, I never really thought my opinion mattered all that much, and God proved me very wrong. I’m so glad you decided to come on this journey with me.Thank you for bearing with all of my spelling and grammar mistakes :-(. And for those of you that are bloggers and like my posts, I check out every single one of your blogs….yep. Every one. I have come to realise there is a massive blogging community, I feel privileged to be a little part of it.

Recently I’ve been asked a lot of questions about faith, hope and my future. Deep huh? There are some questions I find easy to answer, yes I believe God exists and yes I would like a slice of that. To be honest, there are a lot of questions, I can’t answer. One of the beautiful things about life is it’s uncertainty. I don’t know what life will bring, but I do know that Heaven has a good plan for me to faithfully walk into. Life really is too short, and it’s too fragile for us to live with regrets.

There are so many things I want to do this year. I kept them to myself, as you do. However, I have learnt to share in this whole blogging thing. When I summed up all of my resolutions, it accumulated to adding beauty to my life. Resisting the urge to procrastinate and doing all the things that I always wanted to do. Taking risks, trusting again, loving others harder than I did last year.  It’s March so unfortunately most people have forgotten about their new years resolutions. This doesn’t have to be you!

The #addalittlebeauty campaign celebrates all the things we do to well…..add a little beauty. I’m in love with interiors at the moment,but don’t have the freedom to go crazy yet. So I buy my favourite flowers(peonies)…get the picture? It’s all the small things that make a big difference. What will you do? Tweet me or Instagram @bychioma. I wanna know 🙂

Love, kisses and appreciative hugs….

Chioma

Glimpse

Hello from me and Mr Penguin.

Honestly, it’s been a pretty challenging couple of weeks. For a start I had a bug with a cold that turned into a flu which turned my throat into a scratch board. Then medication that was suppose to work that didn’t (exactly why I hate medicine). Moral of the story is go and get the flu jab.

There has also been so much good. There was Christmas which was awesome and of course followed a great entry into the new year. Between those two events I ate my body weight in chocolate, chicken and supermalt. I have been thinking so much about this year and what I want to achieve. I don’t believe in luck as I reckon we make our own way. Normally I have new years resolutions all planned and written in my best handwriting at the beginning of the year. However, this year it is taking me a while to collate all that I believe God has planned for the year to come. I reckon this is because I’m really thinking and praying about it and not just writing good stuff down. So here are a couple of things I’ve thinking about. What kind of resolutions are you making, tweet me on twitter or write them down in the comments. My list isn’t 100% certain so we can share 😉

Some of the things on my list:

1. Truly dedicate my time and heart to God. Not just read a couple of verses a day, listen to a couple of worship songs and try to feel warm inside.

2. STOP PROCRASTINATING, urgh it is such an ugly habit that leads to so much regret. Totally not worth it.

3. Spend more time working on my hobbies (like my blog)and continue writing. Stop trying to only post ‘perfect’ posts, they don’t exist. Hopefully get a short story published this year. Any literary magazines for takers?….anyone 😉

4. Spend more time with my family and friends this year. My circle of friends has got smaller. Not because I purposefully stopped talking to anyone, but because it just happened. I love to meet new people, but I’m happiest with lovely people around me. People that just take take take are just exhausting.

5. Look after my hair, skin and body and stop complaining!

I’m like: ‘Argh my skin so sensitive’?

God’s like: ‘No, you just don’t know how to take care of it.’ Ouchy mouchy.

6. Be more open. The ‘I’m fine’ thing needs to STOP. If I need help this year I will just ask and not just suffer in silence. Silly me.

7. Stay away from weaves. They always go wrong for me. My scalp rarely likes them…..don’t know why I bother trying.

8. Avoid buying dresses and wear more separates. I can sometimes find buying bottoms hard as they never fit my urm…hip/butt area ha! But dressing up is fun when it involves more creativity I reckon.

9. Save up and buy myself an incredibly awesome camera for my birthday in August.

10. Eat healthier. More fruits, more veg and less sugar 😦

So what else have I been up to in the last couple of weeks?

😦

Bistro pub steak with 2 good friends, this was incredible but was not enough ha!

Excuse the chipping nails but what Christmas cuteness from the kids from Church!!??

Wrapping up someone’s first Christmas present…

The annual 25min agony over which Christmas card’s match my wrapping paper best.

Mocktail making at a December birthday!